im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Life is so much better after having sex.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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