So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize