I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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