i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
