Your tits are I can't wait for
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
