Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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