just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
