If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
