do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
