whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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