apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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