Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
