absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I bet he comes in French.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she peed on how many people?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
