i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize