Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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