My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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