I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
