This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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