4 words: hood of his car
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
