Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i already hear my dad disowning me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
