u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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