He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
