is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How's work?
Spinning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
