Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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