Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
