so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
