Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
