my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
