Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
