I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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