How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
