The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
