I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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