toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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