On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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