You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
