Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
