For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
