Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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