it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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