I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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