ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
