why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
