I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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