It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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