are you still at the devil's house?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
