i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
