did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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