i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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