The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
