life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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