My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
