She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
