I think my vagina is haunted
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
