remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
