i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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