imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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