i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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