How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
