I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
