I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
