Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
